sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
