Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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