Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
