Are we in a gay sports bar?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
