Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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