I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize