I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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