im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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