I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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