dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
