Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
