Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
