My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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