mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
