Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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