You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
As shirtless as possible
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
