Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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