just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
