I love black thongs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
