I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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