Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
