pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
