watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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