They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
