I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
