I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
