Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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