He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize