sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
