I swear she didn't look like that last week.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
