we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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