Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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