Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
