she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
