My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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