lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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