What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
