whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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