About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Found the puke drawer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
