I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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