god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
