so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
