I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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