so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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