She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
