I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We have started to decorate penises.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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