got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
