I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize