I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
