His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
