happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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