He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
