dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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