Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just threw up on my dentist
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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