He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
