I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
