so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
