i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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