I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
