everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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