I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
