I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
