I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
