just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
