I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No subtext here. People are naked.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
