My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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