I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
