I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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