I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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