Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
